Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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