and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
