We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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