i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
