Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
