The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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