He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
