So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize