Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize