so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize