every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
