I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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