Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
