did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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