Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
