I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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