You're my little dorito
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
