What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
