I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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