I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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