He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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