i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
