he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
