i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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