butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
