people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so let's talk penis.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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