Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
