he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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