Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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