At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
