Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
