I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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