Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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