I showed him my bush... on skype.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
