Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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