Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
