one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
