So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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