I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
