saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
