I bet he comes in French.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
