the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
