i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
