I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
