so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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