Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
