Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
