Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
