absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How external is "for external use only"?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
