Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need a beard to bite.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
