things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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