i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
