I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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