but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
