wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
