so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
