I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
