no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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