you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
