girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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