My Higher Power is John Stamos
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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