She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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