The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
