Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
