OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
