porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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